What is your goal for 6 months? For a year? 5 years? 10 years?
Who do you want to be when you are 80 years old?
I have asked these questions to many people. It makes everyone a bit uncomfortable.
Very often people even tried to persuade me that I don’t have to set goals either...
Goals are not important?
If you had a goal, and didn’t reach it. Or maybe you did achieve a goal, but felt empty inside.
Suddenly you have that weird thought “Is that all there is?!'
I know that feeling simply because I have been there few times. I was disappointed, I was heartbroken, I achieved what I wanted and STILL wasn’t happy.
That's even worse than not achieving. After all, at least you can try again.
What to do in this case?
Getting what you want and still not being happy about result - is totally normal.
The Law of Familiarity kicks in, and what was exciting before, becomes normal.
Does it mean it was not good goal? Absolutely not. It is time for a new goal.
Learn what worked, what to improve, what is required at this stage of life.
I always remember the words of Nelson Mandela:
“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.”
Goal-setting is a life-time tool. You just keep repeating the cycle. And you become better at choosing the goal and getting there with less effort.
Over a decade of reaching and failing at goals, there are few things that I use.
Instead of setting a huge goal - changing career, start learning the language, win at something, improving health, choose to experiment with it first, instead of thinking long-term.
Use a little to no investment of money, but do invest your time. Try for 2-4 weeks, if you like the process and it gives you challenge and satisfaction - go for stronger and longer commitment. Here you can commit to a coach, trainer, class. Investing the money makes us appreciate things even more and keeps the commitment going when first motivation is gone. And it always does.
We always want a lot of things in life. Some things are important, others are less. Figuring out your priorities and values early enough is important. When you know what you want, your chances of being fulfilled and satisfied are much higher.
And there is nothing worse than chasing a goal that you don't need.
If we can slow down, think, analyze, so we can choose the goals that are close to our heart, goals that make us grow, the ones that make us happier - not only now but later as well.
Challenge is not something to avoid. Challenges make us better people, make us who we were always supposed to be. Once we were dreamers, and we must never die inside before our days are over, we must never settle for ok-life.
We must never give up on ourselves, we must always keep on going.
God is not interested in our comfort.
He is interested in our character.
If we choose comfortable life, we will inevitably have crisis, or multiple ones - way more heartbreaking than any daily challenge. Ask me how I know... :)
If we neglect health - we will get very sick one day, if we neglect earning and saving money - we will be broke one day, if we neglect relationship - we can lose important people in life.
How about to set a goal today? No need to go big yet, choose the daily action and feel the immediate satisfaction from your accomplishments. This is an easy way to feel good.
“A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labours of a spasmodic Hercules.
And you can always ask me for extra help if you are not sure what to do and where to go. Or you can get stuck at some point. Let's brainstorm together!
with Love and Blessings,
your coach Irina Al Daker