If there was only one single thing that I wanted everyone to understand and use everyday it would be this:
Forgive and love yourself.
As for me, they are directly related to each other.
Without forgiveness, we can’t truly love. We are all interconnected with each other. When we can’t forgive someone, in reality - we just refuse to forgive ourselves. We expect so much from ourselves and others, that we fail to see the beauty in the mistakes, missteps and imperfections. And all of those flaws make us human beings.
I remember how I meditated once at the beach and one guy approached me.
He asked me if I could teach him how to meditate, I agreed. The interesting thing or me was, when we reached the moment “Let go any negativity you have, forgive…” He stopped. And then added: "NO! I can’t forgive."
Isn’t it interesting?
We carry the garbage in our soul and feel like we HAVE TO do so.
Letting go is so frightening for ego. Who am I, if I forgive? That person did wrong!
So what? It doesn’t hurt them, it hurts YOU, if you don’t.
Forgiving yourself is a constant process. We learn the best, when it is the hardest to forgive.
Maybe that’s why I learned it quite early in my life. I have done many things that I thought I would be never able to forget and especially to forgive. But I did. Gradually.
And it was November 2019, quite recently, I was driving in my car and was stunned with love towards myself. I really felt in love and loving myself, that intensity I have never felt before. Even towards any other person! It was like a miracle.
Since then I have lived in the place of absolute self-love.
And to this day, it still feels very unusual.
I used to think differently before - if I don’t criticize myself, don’t push myself too hard, I will eventually become lazy.
To my huge surprise, what happened when I stopped it - was completely the opposite - I have started to do more.
I know, if I do mistake or not succeed, my love won’t change, I will find another way, it’s not that scary after all.
I feel so sad about so many people, who literally hate themselves. They expect others to love them first. We need to embrace the fact that love is NOT a feeling, it's a state we are in, that’s when we are able to attract it even more to our life.
And if to come back to my professional area - I do believe that one of the main reasons people eat bad food, don’t exercise, stay in unhealthy relationship, criticize themselves caused by the lack of self-love and appreciation.
They forgot to forgive themselves. That’s ok, it happened, it's gone.
You aren’t perfect and you will never be.
Eating whole foods isn’t a punishment, this is a way to nourish your body and feel good in a moment and long term.
Training is also loving your body enough, to provide it with even more energy.
Setting boundaries with people who aren’t good for you - is necessary.
You don’t owe anything to anybody. You are free to do whatever you want (as long as you don't harm anyone intentionally, of course:) You will make many mistakes and you will still be able to love yourself. And in case you forget, I will remind you :)
With love and compassion.
Irina Al Daker